Humor……Chuckle for the Day

Humor....Chuckle for the Day

I hear so many heart breaking stories in my work and somehow by the Grace of God I have found a way to hold them with compassion and love. I can “be with” people/children in distress, sadness, despair, hopelessness, shame, and most of the other difficult feelings that bring people to therapy. I think I was born a highly sensitive being and the mis-attunement of my mother made me exquisitely attuned to others’ suffering. I learned the experience of suffering at my mother’s knee. And I made it my life’s work to hold people in their darkest moments. For a long time, I didn’t think I “deserved” to be happy when others were in such pain. But gradually, I learned to compartmentalize and as my heart and soul healed in therapy, I began to experience fun and joy and laughter. Having my daughter brought me the greatest joy and she taught me to laugh and see the light side of irony.

I also have been privy to some hysterically funny moments, experiences, sayings and expressions......a la Art Linkletter, “Kids say the darndest things.” It’s true! They do!

So I thought for a little levity in whatever stress you are feeling today, I would share with you some funny stories to give you a “chuckle for the day.” I apologize for some of the foul language/swear words, but these are verbatim.

We were at the dentist for the first time. She was 4. The dentist was counting her teeth and she relaxed because she loved numbers. The dentist asked her how old she was. She said, ”I’m four and three quarters and I can’t wait until I’m five and a dime.” The dentist looked up at me, and we smiled, trying to hide our hysterical laughter.

A child passed gas in my office. Age 4. She looked embarrassed and said she was sorry. I told her everyone does that, no worries. She said, “Yes, it’s the gas of life.”

A boy aged three came into his mother’s bed in the morning. He kissed her and told her she had “stinky wind”. She told him it was called, “morning breath”. He said,” Hmmm, you have morning breath and I have morning penis”.....having erections in the morning was a bit troubling and uncomfortable for him.

Children on the Spectrum are very literal. A precocious 3 year old child went into the bank at Christmas time with his mother and noticed a star on the top. He said, “Oh I get it. Some people have human shapes on their trees (i.e. angels) and others have geometric shapes (stars).

Fathers and Step Fathers sometimes think mothers coddle their Special Needs child. 

In this family, the mother cooked pasta for her son every night, as that was basically all that he ate for dinner. One night, she could not be home and asked the step father to cook pasta for her son. He did. However, he let some of the pasta hang out over the edge and he singed the edges. Burned pasta. When Mama came home she saw the boy sitting with a heaped up pile of pasta in front of him untouched. What happened??  “The Bald Bastard can’t cook!” he exclaimed. When Mom asked step-father what happened, he replied that he thought a little burned pasta would not hurt him and that Mama spoiled the boy. He was not going to cater to her. Hmmmm.

One night a Mom and Dad of 4 children got dressed up to go out on a date. The 6 year old commented, “You guys look really good. You look like you don’t even have children!”

A Mom and 4 year old son were in the car with Grand Dad (Mom’s Dad). It was Christmas in a busy mall parking lot. Grand Dad was waiting to pull into a parking space on the left, but before he knew it, somebody coming from the other direction whipped right into the space. Grand Dad said, “ Well look at that guy. He pulled right in front of me. I hate when that happens!” The boy piped up from the back seat, “Know what my my Dad says when that happens to him?” Uh oh. Mom was cringing. What was he going to say? In the exact intonation of his father he said, “Biiiiiiitch!”

A girl on the spectrum ordered a toy from a cereal box and knew it was going to be shipped to her. When she came home and her Mom presented it to her, she said,”Oh, I missed the ship? I wanted to see it come to the front door.”

Do you have any funny stories or anecdotes from your precious ones that you’d like to share?